Romance is a wonderful thing that can lift our spirit and make our days more enjoyable, but we all have bad habits that ruin relationships over and over again. As we stated in an earlier article on the 7 habits that kill your productivity, it’s not a matter of being “better” at relationships, but rather of avoiding bad habits. If we aren’t careful, we can easily find ourselves indulging in negative attitudes that create tension with our partner, making us drift apart.
Some bad habits have existed for centuries, but the internet era brought along some additional complications when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships. While the twenty something’s flip through partners quicker than any previous generation, divorce rates also continue to increase. Today, only three out of ten marriages stand the test of time, according to the Gottman Institute.
The reasons for partnerships dissolving are extremely diverse, but there are several bad habits that undoubtedly push them to the edge. Cheating, lying and jealousy will likely destroy the love between two people, but there are also many small daily habits that will turn a once-burning flame into smoldering ashes.
So, take a look at these six bad habits that ruin relationships and see for yourself if you’re guilty as charged.
6. Not talking about your issues
Active communication is one of the most important factors in a long-term relationship, and that sometimes means getting your hands a little dirty. Some people believe that avoiding arguments is the best way to maintain the romance, but studies prove that partners who fight every now and then actually stay longer with their partners. It may seem ludicrous, but couples can benefit from arguing because it clears the air and liberates tensions. So don’t keep your feelings and fears bottled up, share them with your partner (in a respectful way, obviously)…also, the make-up round in the sack will add new spice.
5. Let Yourself Go
Nobody expects couples to look like they fell out of a fashion photo shoot, but maintaining standards of hygiene and grooming is always important, so why drop the habit when you’re in a relationship? If you put on those extra 20 pounds, stop brushing your hair and restrict yourself to jogging pants as standard dress attire, what makes you think your partner won’t notice? Although love is not about physical beauty, it is about self-respect, and taking care of yourself throughout the relationship will make you feel attractive as a person. So don’t be a slob just because you’ve already found someone, because you may end up alone if you keep up the slovenliness.
4. Be Competitive
Have you ever met a couple that constantly kept score of each other’s accomplishments and/or gestures? Well, my best guess is they aren’t together anymore. We all tend to compare ourselves with others, but it’s a terrible habit to be overly competitive with your partner. Competing creates distance and hostility towards your better half because winning is about nurturing your ego and a damaged ego can cause serious trouble later on. So keep your competitive streak at a healthy level if you want to avoid turning your lover into your foe.
3. Social Media Stalking
There was a time when Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram didn’t exist and we had no choice but to put our blind faith in our partner. But today, far too many couples stalk each other on social media platforms, looking for clues of infidelity and lies. The problem with this is that it usually leads to fights, because your online profile can be misleading, as can pictures, likes, comments, and status updates. If you don’t trust your partner enough to tell you the truth about their life, then you probably shouldn’t be with them anyways.
2. Forget About Friends
One of the most destructive attitudes you can have in a relationship is forgetting that there’s life and love outside of it. Friendships suffer the most when couples have children, for obvious reasons, but some people abandon their friends a couple of months into their romance. And like it or not, your friends will notice and they won’t be happy. Making sure you keep your social life as active as it was before you found love is crucial: you’ll keep growing and gaining experiences that you can then share with your partner. Also, if you’re constantly glued to your partner’s hip, boredom will eventually set in.
1. Forget About Yourself
This is without a doubt the worst habit to have in a partnership. Becoming consumed with romance will separate you from your friends and family, but can also make you lose touch with yourself. Your goals, ambitions, hobbies, and desires shouldn’t change drastically from one minute to the other, just because you found a partner. To the contrary, staying on top of your personal objectives will allow you to create a healthy distance from your partner, making your time together much more significant and fulfilling.
