Singles oftentimes complain about their bad luck when it comes to dating, but many are guilty of committing some of the worst mistakes made on first dates, which isn’t doing themselves any favors. While a date is meant to be a fun and flirty occasion where you get to know each other, some people seem to be unaware of the faux-pas that can destroy all chances for a second encounter.
I’m not saying that dating is easy per se, because we’ve all experienced the pressure that comes along with trying to impress someone in just a few hours…or at least making sure our date doesn’t hate us by the end of the night. And while there are certain guidelines of interaction during that first date, sometimes we forget that there’s a fine line between being ourselves and being inconsiderate.
In a previous article we discussed the 5 reasons why you’re single and miserable, one of them being that you’re not comfortable in your own skin. Similarly, the worst mistakes made on first dates are usually related to giving off the wrong impression, seeming arrogant, aloof, cocky, unappreciative or disrespectful. However, attention to detail is also a key element when dating, and unfortunately, the point where many of us fail.
So, here’s a list of attitudes and actions that will pave your way straight to a disastrous first date; the worst mistakes made on first dates.
8. Look filthy
Lots of people underestimate the importance of personal hygiene when it comes to first impressions. A man or woman that shows up to a date without showering, wearing old, dirty, or torn-up clothes and looking like there was some serious gardening action going on earlier, won’t likely stand a chance. Yes, these are all superficial values, but women don’t want to be caressed by a hand with dirt under the fingernails and men don’t want to kiss a woman that smells like a pig stall. So just be smart and look as sharp as your budget allows.
Can mistakes really get any worse than that? Believe it or not, they can, as you’ll find out on the next page as our list of the worst mistakes made on first dates continues without mercy for those poor daters on the other end.
7. Hide Out in the Bathroom
Some people suffer from social anxiety or are guilty of being introverts. If that’s the case and dating scares you, I understand, but maybe don’t go on a date with someone you’re afraid of then? Or if you choose to overcome your dating anxiety, remember: going to the bathroom a couple of times is fine, but going 12 times in one hour is just plain weird. And staying in the bathroom for 20 minutes may send your partner whirling into an ocean of confusion they (and your short-lived relationship) won’t recover from.
6. Flirt With Other People
Let’s assume you’re a natural flirt and have a knack for instantly charming people. While this is a lovely trait to possess, you might want to focus all that flirty energy exclusively on your object of desire if you don’t want to end the night planted on the street by yourself. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be kind or nice, but flirting with the staff at the bar or restaurant you took your date to might give off the impression that you’re not really interested in them to begin with, so why would they date you again?
5. Act Disrespectful or Rude
We’ve all lived through that moment where you take someone out to a restaurant for dinner and your date snaps their fingers at the waitress or is obnoxious about the service quality. And we all know it’s no fun at all. If you don’t want to come across as uptight and arrogant, then avoid this attitude at all times. Being respectful towards others on your date will make your partner feel more at ease and increase your chances of a second encounter.
4. Bring Up the Ex
I’m not sure why some people still believe it’s perfectly fine to rant about an ex on a first date, but those people exist and should desist…seriously, just stop it. Nobody wants to go on a date with someone they potentially want to sleep with and end up comparing themselves to the ex. Some people have a healthier self-esteem than others and might not care who you dated in the past, but for the most part, unless your date asks about your past relationships (which is a scary question anyways) keep them to yourself. And if you’re going to mention them, be nice about it, because nothing kills the mood more than being a resentful ex.
3. Show Up Late
Time is the enemy. Everyone has been in that situation where you’re running late, you missed your bus, forgot your wallet, lost a shoe, etc. And we’re all human, so tardiness should be expected. But it’s one thing to run late and let your date know a solid 30 minutes before meeting, and another entirely to just show up 30 minutes late. Nobody likes to wait, least of all with first-date nerves fluttering in their stomach, so try to plan ahead. Also, a tip for the gentlemen: if you’re late, buy her an ice cream or something small to show you’re apologetic. She’ll most likely forgive you and go on that second date (assuming you don’t also make some of the other mistakes on this list).
2. Act Inappropriately
I understand that this is an awfully ample term, but what I’m referring to are quite obvious no-go’s on a first date. Using politically incorrect and racist words; cursing against religious folks; passing judgement on your date’s friends, family, or lifestyle; criticizing your date’s outfit choice; groping them in a public place; need I continue? There’s a reason the phrase less is more is so popular…it also applies here.
1. Focus On Your Phone
Everyone will have a different opinion on the order of these mistakes, but in my opinion this is the absolute worst mistake you can make on that first date. When two people are trying to connect and explore each other, there’s nothing more off-putting than a constantly buzzing, ringing phone. I don’t recall asking the iPhone 6 on a date, so unless someone is dying or your house is burning down, put that phone away and be smart: use the bathroom breaks to feed your Facebook or Twitter fix; do you want to find a partner in life, or not miss out on some snarky tweet from a celebrity? Priorities my fellow daters, priorities.