Apple Inc. (AAPL), The Walt Disney Company (DIS): Where’s My Mac N’ Cheese?!

Compared to other Big Pharmas, Bristol Myers Squibb Co. (NYSE:BMY), Abbott Laboratories (NYSE:ABT), Merck & Co., Inc. (NYSE:MRK), and Johnson & Johnson (NYSE:JNJ), Pfizer has one of the lower P/Es at 14.92 and a yield of 3.20%. The company bought back $6.3 billion worth of shares year to date and that’s a good thing, Liz…. that shows it’s shareholder friendly and believes in itself.

Pfizer Inc. (NYSE:PFE) reported Q1 earnings on April 30 and disappointed mostly on lowering numbers due to foreign exchange, currency devaluation, and charges related to the Zoetis Inc (NYSE:ZTS) IPO. The company still owns an 80% stake in Zoetis Inc (NYSE:ZTS), its animal health unit, a cash cow (pun intended) for Pfizer. Pfizer slumped 4.5% after earnings but analysts still believe in it with a median price target of $32, which translates into an upside of 10%.

Finally, you want a sin stock. As KableTown’s company physician Dr. Spaceman told you, “Sounds like you need some R&R, Rum and Ritalin.” In that case, buy Diageo plc (ADR) (NYSE:DEO), the world’s largest producer of alcoholic beverages and based in the U.K. You know their products and you could use some foreign exposure. Diageo has a 1.8% yield and a 19.13 P/E.

Like most defensive stocks, Diageo plc (ADR) (NYSE:DEO) has run almost 20% over 52 weeks and the PEG at 2.11 is slightly stretched, but no worse than the industry average at 2.09. Buy in moderation, although with little strong competition except BEAM Inc (NYSE:BEAM) and SABMiller plc (LON:SAB) (mostly beer and wine), the company has a moat made of spirits around it.

I can have it all!!

Liz, you have it all: husband, career, and kids. Time to grow up and realize not investing is a Dealbreaker. These well known brands with good dividends and low volatility will let you sleep soundly while you dream of Cheezy Blasters, Mexican cheese curls, and Philly cheesesteaks.

AAPL Total Return Price data by YCharts

The article Turn a Lemon (Liz Lemon) of a Portfolio Into Lemonade originally appeared on Fool.com and is written by AnnaLisa Kraft.

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