30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

If science was (or is) your favorite subject in school and you love a good laugh, check out our list of 30 funniest science jokes, puns, and humor quotes ever below.

Because sometimes life is rough, and a bit too serious. Now and then, you need a little humor to mix it up and lighten your day. You’ll also get a few silly conversation starters if you ever happen to be at a party full of science-loving nerds. These quotes could also show off your superior science expertise as well. Even if no one else gets it, they could make you a hit. Or, interested in that cute girl who sits across from you in Chemistry? Try out one of the funny science sayings and pick-up lines we provide you below.

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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Some of the funniest science jokes, puns, and humor quotes ever on our list will only be understood by a special kind of person. So don’t be discouraged if you just don’t get some of them, because they’ll be the funniest to an actual science nerd. (And we’re not hating. If you love science, more power to you. You’re sure to bring great things to the world.) These jokes encompass nearly all science fields as well, from biology to chemistry to space to physics.

But if you’re not completely into science, don’t worry, some of these can be figured out by most people with a general knowledge of science. Although beware, these are a little corny, some to the extent that you’ll have to roll your eyes. But it’s hard to do a science joke without being at least a little corny. So what did you expect?

Everyone has their own definition of humor, after all. That’s why none of the jokes below are in any particular order. So if you’re too good for a lame joke now and then, and would rather read something a little more serious, don’t fault us. Besides, reputable sources like Reader’s Digest, CP Lab Safety, to name a few (from whom we got these jokes), consider them funny, which means most others will as well.

Additionally, here are some fun links for you. First, an article about the science of humor, which combines both topics on this list and makes for an interesting read (there are no jokes in it, however). Secondly, 19 Best Debate Topics Related to Technology and Science, for the argumentative scientist. And lastly, 25 Best Science Jokes for Kids, in case even these jokes are a little too over your head.

These are funny science quotes for students, funny science quotes for teachers, and some funny science quotes about love are even thrown in.

So without further adieu, here goes. 30 funniest science jokes, puns, and humor quotes ever to brighten up your day.

30. The one with helium

“I was reading a book on helium. I couldn’t put it down.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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29. The funny chromosome joke

“What’s the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome? Pull down its genes!”

28. The one with neutron

“A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for beer. The bartender says ‘for you, no charge.'”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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27. The funny science joke about oxygen

“Teen 1: Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? Teen 2: OMG!”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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26. The funny joke for chemists

“Famous last words from chemists: 1) And now, the taste test… 2) And now, shake it up a bit… 3) Now, which glass did I put my mineral water in?”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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25. The funny atom joke

“Why can you never trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

Pixabay/Public Domain

24. The one about tectonic plates

“One tectonic plate bumped into another and said, ‘Sorry, my fault!'”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

Pixabay/Public Domain

23. Another one for chemists

“What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, you might as well barium.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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22. The one with sodium chloride

“My teacher just threw sodium chloride at me. That’s a salt.”

21. The one with Iron Man

“If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’ll be alloys.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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20. The one with glass and chemist

“The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.”

19. The funny science joke about photons

“A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

18. The one with adenine 

“I wish I was adenine, then I could get paired with U.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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17. The funny science joke about sodium

“Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na.”

16. The funny science joke about H2O

“Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says ‘I think I’ll have an H2O.’ The second one says ‘I think I’ll have an H2O too,’ and then he died.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

Pixabay/Public Domain

We’re halfway through our list of funniest science jokes, puns, and humor quotes ever, and now, let’s see the other half.

15. The funny joke about biology

“Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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14. The funny joke about scientific bonds

“The name’s Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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13. The funny joke about Einstein

“Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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12. The one with stamen and pistil

“What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your style.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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11. The one with proteins

“Girl, you’re so hot you denature my proteins.”

This is one on our list of  funniest science jokes, puns, and humor quotes ever is also considered a funny science pick up line. Consider trying it out on a science-loving chic. They might even give you props.

10. Another one about biology

“What do you call the leader of a biology gang? The nucleus.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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9. The funny joke about DNA

“Baby, I wish I were DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

Pixabay/Public Domain

8. The space joke

“What is the moon’s favorite gum? Orbit.”

7. Another funny science water joke

“Rest in peace boiling water. You will be mist.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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6. The one with math

“What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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5. The one with aspirin

“A chemist walks into a pharmacy and says ‘Hey, do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?’ ‘You mean aspirin?’ the pharmacist said. ‘Oh yeah,’ he replied. ‘I can never remember that word.'”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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4. The one with the Moon

“How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

Pixabay/Public Domain

3.The funny Galileo joke

“I throw my telescope in the air sometimes, singing ayyyyyo, I’m Galileo.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

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2. The funny science water joke

“The ice cube said to the glass of water… ‘I was water before it was hot.'”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

Pixabay/Public Domain

1.The funny science mushroom joke

“Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he was a fun guy.”

30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever

Pixabay/Public Domain

That concludes our list of funniest science jokes, puns, and humor quotes ever. Hope you got some laughs out of it!