25 Funniest Math Jokes, Riddles and Pick up Lines Ever

Published on December 28, 2017 at 3:48 am by Bojana Petković in Lists, News

If you feel like escaping work and having a laugh for a moment, here are our 25 funniest math jokes, riddles and pick up lines ever!

Math is one serious subject. If you take a look around you, almost everything was made in accordance with it. Your furniture, the chair you’re sitting on, your computer (we’ll take it that your smoothie or coffee is pure physics)… In order for all those to materialize, someone had to do serious calculations. Isn’t it strange how so many of us struggled with Algeria? Or was it algebra? For some unfathomable reason, even though it is very practical and challenging, math isn’t everyone’s favorite subject. However, that doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy math jokes, riddles and pick up lines.

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We’re giving you some advanced calculus pick up lines, but don’t worry. For most of these, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to understand them. OK, there will be some complex math and statistics here and there, but basically, these jokes and lines are fun for everybody. You can’t just focus on those girls who excelled at maths, can you? Unless you’re attending a math sorority party, how is one to know which girl will clearly understand the awesome pick-up line? Apart from that, there’s a line or two that could be used by girls as well (you know how shy those math guys can get). We tried hard not to pick out any lines that would make you cringe, like with those corny angel pick up lines: How come you’re not on top of a Christmas tree? I thought that’s where angels belonged. Or if you’re really brave/stupid/incredibly hot: Hey can you take off your clothes for me? I want to see how an angel hides its wings. We solemnly promise our math tinder lines are better than that.

To find you some examples of 1/3>((-1^1/5)/27u)^1/2 and funny math jokes and riddles, we checked what most teachers found funny or used as funny teacher pick up lines at Tes, Mr. Barton Maths, MSU, and Jokes4Us were our sources for even more math jokes and statistics pick up lines. If you’re a mathematician reading this, perhaps you’ll also care for our article about best mathematicians in the world today. And, for more funny reading material check out 30 Funniest Science Jokes, Puns, and Humor Quotes Ever.

So, get ready to make a curve with your lips while reading our 25 funniest math jokes, riddles and pick up lines ever!

25. Descartes

So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer. At closing time, the bartender makes the Last Call and asks him, “Get you another?” Descartes replies, “I think not.” And disappears.

I think, therefore I am. Or am I…

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24. I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

We all wondered about the meaning of “I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves” with more or less similar guesses. A tangent line is a straight line that touches only one point. In short, it means a guy wishes to be touching a girl at an angle so that he’s only touching her at one spot. Use your imagination which spot it could be.

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23. Q: What do you call friends who love math?

A: algebros

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22. Q: How does a mathematician mother induce good behavior in her children?

A: If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…

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21. What does the zero say to the eight?

A: Nice belt!

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20. MATH stands for Mental Abuse To Human

You probably didn’t expect to read this line in 25 funniest math jokes, riddles and pick up lines ever.

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19. Why don’t you be the numerator and I be the denominator and both of us reduce to simplest form?

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18. Hi, I hear you’re good at algebra… Will you replace my eX without asking Y?

17. Do you like maths?

No.

Me neither… In fact, the only number I care about is yours.

Smooth.

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16. Your body has the nicest arc length I’ve ever seen.

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15. Is that an asymptote in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

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14. You must be the square root of -1 because you can’t be real.

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13. Your beauty defies real and complex analysis.

We’re halfway through our list of funniest math jokes, riddles and pick up lines ever, and now, let’s see the other half.

12. Hired an odd-job man to do 8 jobs for me. When I got back, he’d only done jobs 1, 3, 5, and 7.

11. Have you heard about the mathematical plant? It has square roots.

10. Q: What kind of tree could a maths teacher climb?

A: Geometry

9. Last night I dreamed that I was weightless! I was like, 0mg.

8. Sheepdog joke

Talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen for his farmer. He comes back and says, “All 40 accounted for.” Farmer says, “I’ve only got 36!” Sheepdog replies, “I know, but I rounded them up.”

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7. Q: What does the little mermaid wear?

A: An algae-bra.

Pixabay/Public Domain

6. Math girl student

“What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?”

“She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me.”

“I don’t believe that she cheated on you!”

“Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns…”

5. I’m like pi baby, I’m really long and I go on forever.

Before this line number 5 on our list of funniest math jokes, riddles and pick up lines ever, make sure you can justify your statement.

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4. Q: When things go wrong, what can you always count on?

A: Your fingers.

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3. Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party?

A: Because you can’t drink and derive…

Pixabay/Public Domain

2. Newlyweds

A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife’s obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: “Do you love math more than me?” “Of course not, dear – I love you much more!” Happy, although skeptical, he challenges her: “Well, then prove it!” Pondering a bit, she responds: “OK… Let epsilon be greater than zero…”

Pixabay/Public Domain

1. Catholic School

And to end our 25 funniest math jokes, riddles and pick up lines ever list, here’s one joke that will make you nod your head:

A father who is very much concerned about his son’s bad grades in math decides to register him at a Catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He’s getting ‘A’s in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: “Why are your math grades suddenly so good?” “You know,” the son explains, “when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!”