If you’re looking for the 15 best imaginary island name ideas, then you probably have thought of a couple yourself at one time or another. It’s funny but, for some reason, imagining places to live in, or banish people to, has a soothing effect on me; it’s also extremely amusing, I love naming things; if you love it too, you should check out our 43 Good Names For Investment Companies. In this article, I will detail a list of fun make-believe spots around the world, some I wish existed; others, not so much. But first, some facts:
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Islands, even imaginary ones, are not all formed the same way; scientifically they can have three possible origins: Continental islands are those that form part of a continental shelf. Other islands are Oceanic and originate from either the collision of tectonic plates, subaquatic volcanic explosions (so badass), and coral reefs reaching the surface. Last, but not least, we have tropical islands, which are spawned, in most cases, from sand getting trapped between coral reefs.
However, although this is all valid, imaginary islands have their own way of going about, since they exist only inside my mind. Some depict our feelings, others, come from plain silliness, but I guarantee they will all make you laugh your undies off since you’ve probably visited one or two yourselves sometimes; so keep reading and find out whic are the best imaginary island name ideas.
15. The Island of Vanished Men
Or “Women”, whatever suits you. It’s a volcanic island located deep in the freezing Ocean of the Exes, where the blistering cold and constant threat of eruption make life unbearable. This is where you exile anyone who hurt you so bad that you had to banish them forever from your existence, and tried desperately to forget about the whole thing. However, this island might have the side effect of turning people into zombies and have them return crawling (and begging) after a long time, so beware not ever to allow this mind consuming have-beens to get anywhere near you. What do you think, does it qualify as one of the best imaginary island Name ideas?
14. Menstrual Island
Spoiler alert: it is not a fun place. This is a fluvial island, formed by the River Uterus, in the delta of your thighs, and it only surfaces once a month during a week or so. It’s where your brain goes when you get your period; a place where you can constantly hear a voice shouting “You’re stupid, stupid, stupid!!!”, “You do everything wrong!”, and the air alone causes you to cry inconsolably over things like that three-legged puppy you saw last month. (Sidenote: I got the name from this funny comic by Gemma Correll) And now, let’s see what else we have on our list of best imaginary island name ideas.
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13. Ain’t Nobody got Time for That Island
Up next in our list of best imaginary island name ideas is this tropical island where you can go to when you’re just swamped with all of the crap in your life, and people around you keep asking you to do things for them and pestering you with silly nonsense. It’s the perfect vacation spot for people who want to be left alone. You can also take a tour to the neighboring “Get off My Back Isle”, known for being one of the most peaceful spots on earth since no one there wants to be disturbed.
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12. Sector E-K 19
The CIA asked me not to tell you about this one on our list of best imaginary island name ideas, but I just couldn’t help myself. Sector E-K 19 is the biggest of many alien colonies in North America; Canada, specifically. It is located near Greenland, and has over 5000 legal alien inhabitants from all around the cosmos; Sting is rumored to have resided here at one time. Thanks to alien technology, the weather is perfect all-year round; however, its existence is a secret, so no one is allowed to go there without the required credentials. I have now given you Canadian aliens.
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11. No Man Island
You’ve totally heard people mention this one before, there’s even a saying about it: “No Man is an Island”, so it might even be a real place. Even though its name makes it sound like a place where only women are allowed to set foot on, I actually imagine it (based on said proverb) as a site where the lonely people go to find each other. Kind of like Tinder, really.
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10. Procrastination Island
This island and its name ranks 10th in our list of best imaginary island name ideas. It has its own slogan, which is “Never leave for tomorrow what you can do… Never”. It is said that Peter Pan’s Neverland, where responsibilities didn’t exist, is inspired in this vortex of lethargy. Although this spot may seem like paradise to some, it actually gets quite boring after a while, and it’s a really tricky place to get out off.
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9. Last Chance Island Resort
This is a tectonic island since it is born from collision: it’s a small place where lovers head to remember why they’re still together when going through a rough patch in the relationship. It has an all-inclusive hotel, the Last Resort, that offers couples counseling, and imparts several classes, such as “Things you should never say”, “How NOT to beat your wife 101”, and of course, water aerobics.
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8. Schrodinger’s Island
Until you’ve searched every inch of the planet’s surface and confirmed the existence or inexistence of said place yourself, this Island exists and doesn’t exist at the same time, which makes it a really good place to hide. Also, if you are a hardcore existentialist, I’d absolutely recommend vacationing here, you’ll feel like you’ve found your own little piece of space and time.
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7. Colostomy Swamp Island
Having one of the best imaginary island names, you don’t need to read twice to realize you don’t want to go there. This man-made volcanic island is more comparable to a swamp than to a piece of land. Have you ever wondered where your poo goes? Of course, the answer is “the ocean”, but where? You see, this is what the government doesn’t want you to know: your poo, my poo, all of our poos, eventually join paths, being sent through a colossal pipe to a spot in the middle of the Ocean, where it’s released, shooting a massive volcanic eruption of sh*t onto the surface. So, like I said, you don’t want to go there.
6. Loompa Island
Remember the Oompa Loompas from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? They came from “Loompaland”, a place no one had ever seen or heard of, and this is why: it’s not land, it’s almost not even an island, it’s a small, wild, beautiful place, with a water spring and perfect climate, where the Oompa Loompas happily lived in harmony with other magical creatures; until they were discovered and sold to factories and freak shows, that is. There’s something Willy Wonka doesn’t want you to know.
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5. Acne Archipelagos
Instead of being inhabited, these Islands inhabit people. Born from an explosion of hormones, these mountains of pus get stuck between the reefs of grease and dirt; they are located on the face of any teenager you’ve ever seen. Under the constant attack of squeezing fingers, the Acne Islands have the ability to move from one spot to another, creating malignant rashes that endlessly switch position.
4. Pizza Island
Nearby the Sandwich Islands (which are not imaginary and have a very real and remarkable name), there’s another Island little people know of. This island is not actually made of pizza, but inhabited by it. Pizza people are cannibals, which puts any person who sets foot here at risk of being consumed by maniac pizza slices, so it’s not a very popular holiday destination. A film crew set out to shoot a documentary on the people-eating pizza folks in May 2014, but haven’t been heard of since.
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3. The Island of Puppies
I’m sorry, but I really wanted an island full of baby dogs, and since I have been given a license to invent islands, Iam going to have me some pooches. Upon being, as its name properly indicates, full of puppies, this place has become a peaceful, protected environment, where children can interact and play with the animals, for fun, and as therapy. They also throw great raves and have the best weed, which has become conflicting from time to time, because, added to the dogs, it has made this place the stoner destination of choice. Nonetheless, this place has a crime rate of zero, because there’s no time for crime when you’re surrounded by puppies.
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2. Île flottante
A French mass of sweet, fluffy candy-land, of genesis unknown, that, rootless, glides back and forth between Europe to America. Sometimes little pieces will break off during the journey, and float ashore, where it will be served at restaurants under the name of the island. However, it’s getting smaller and smaller, due to big companies abusing its natural resources to make desserts.
1. Isle of U
In case you didn’t catch it, it sounds like “I love you” (although the small patch of land is actually shaped like the letter U). This is the nicest of the islands, because it’s the place where the people you remember fondly go. It doesn’t matter if they were good or bad, it’s not about right or wrong, it’s about affection. I like to think that when I go, everybody will be waiting for me there with a surprise beach party and caipirinhas in their hands. Doesn’t sound so bad, right?
So, which one is your favorite out of these 15 best imaginary island name ideas?
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