Just because someone’s a big name in Hollywood, doesn’t mean they have any real talents and we’re here to prove that with this list of the 10 most successful actors who can’t act.
Honestly, we’re talking about Hollywood — is there anything real and authentic there? From their looks to connections and sometimes pure luck, stars can end up in the spotlight for just about everything but their talent. This is unfortunately true in just about every industry though. There are a number of actresses who can’t act as well as actors who can’t act, who have still managed to make some money and fame on the big screen. Critics either think these people are a wooden actor, meaning they’re too stiff, they have too much of a “diva” personality and nothing to show for it, or they are only on screen because of their name and/or connections. It seems many of the actors on our list missed the “learn how to act for beginners” course, somewhere along the road.
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Everyone has their own opinions, and we have ours when it comes to what we consider “good” and “bad” acting. So look at this as a bad actresses list or a list of the top ten worst actors. We’re not saying you should avoid these actors and their films or shows entirely, but it’s something to keep in the back of your mind, the next time you are about dropping $15 on a movie ticket. Instead, you might want to wait for their movies to hit Redbox or Netflix, so you can stop watching whenever you want, and you won’t feel like you’ve wasted too much time or money.
Sit back, relax, and grab some popcorn for our list of the 10 most successful actors who can’t act.
10. George Clooney
With the exception of Oh Brother Where Art Thou, Clooney seems just to be a guy on the set when the camera starts running. Even the Coen brothers’ flick, I’m giving credit to the stellar writing than to Clooney’s performance. I mean how are you supposed to mouth Constant Sorrow while looking like you’re walking in a suit? But because you always seem smug, and have the face of a guy who looks like he lived 200 years ago, and are a liberal, I’m going to decide your inability to act is just cute.
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9. Brad Pitt
We are continuing our list of most successful actors who can’t act with the only male dumb blonde who doesn’t get on our nerves. Is this because he stems from the 80’s when it was OK to be dumb and blonde? Or is it because he left one beautiful woman for an even more beautiful woman? I’m trying to think of a movie where he wasn’t dumb and blonde, and can only come up with A River Runs Through It, but that may only because the scenery was so stunning it dulled a little of the dumbness and blondeness of Mr. Pitt. Full disclosure, I’m not saying you’re dumb, Brad, just the characters you play.
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8. Angelina Jolie
Always a lady and nothing else. Sometimes a druggie, but still a lady doing drugs. Then there’s the hit woman who looks like a lady at night. Mrs. Smith, mother in Changeling, I’m dire in need of an example where Angelina you look like a monster, or a criminal, or a bad person, or a dumb person, or Jesus, ugly for God’s sake.
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7. Arnold Schwarzenegger
The dumbass version of Stallone. Schwarzenegger, I don’t want to admit that the reason you make me feel disgust is that you slept with a maid who actually looks like a maid. Maybe it’s because you touted marrying a Kennedy as the third most important reason you made it in this world and then that decision blew up in your face because face it, you never even fu**ing liked her. Moving on, you’re the big Austrian in every movie. You don’t even have a few golds like Stallone, just a bunch of thick accents with thick muscles.
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6. Julia Roberts
At one point Julia’s hanger smile started making me vomit. But for at least a generation until that point, American’s Sweetheart made a ton of money playing America’s sweetheart in every single film. In her older years she did a role for August: Osage County where she’s still a sweetheart but this time a screaming one. Does nothing aside Meryl Streep’s performance.
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5. Danny Trejo
Face it, you know the name and the image comes to mind. And the strength of that image conjures up an economic class, a nation, an ethnicity, a culture and a weather system so solid that he might as well be the face of Trump’s countermovement.
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4. Woody Allen
This Zelig wannabe ranks 4th on our list of most successful actors who can’t act. He is as neurotic as they come, so much that his bones and face seem to have taken on the neurosis as well. Something tells me if Woody Allen could trade in all the drama in his life from marrying his daughter in exchange for one good acting performance he’d still be hounded by the paparazzi.
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3. Marlon Brando
Oh what a face, Marlon, what happened to your face!? I think of your name and I see your face and I remember absolutely nothing else about you.
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2. Sylvester Stallone
It all started with Rocky. Ever since this lovable Italian Stallion plays roles where the underdog wins through perseverance, humility and 200 pounds of muscle. A few stellar performances are in there – including Rocky – like Copland. But even so, Stallone is still the lovable hardworking everyman Italian Stallion.
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1. Robert De Niro
To top our list of the 10 most successful actors who can’t act, we have Robert De Niro. How do I love thee, let me count the ways. Your face, your name, your ethnicity, the New Yorker in you. You’re cool, cute, and funny but let’s face it De Niro – you’re pretty much the same person in every movie – which is fine because you’re awesome.
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