4. You don’t mind, do you?
If you’re asking me that, then you already know I probably do mind, so it all hangs on how much I actually like you, and if I owe you any favors. Most of the times it goes like this: “-insert annoying thing that they did/plan to do here-; you don’t mind, do you?” This question is super awkward because it’s actually the answer they want to hear, followed by a question tag, so in a way, it’s conditioning you to say “of course not”, under the fear of looking “selfish” or whatever. It’s almost extortion, really. However, there are two possibilities: either they haven’t done whatever crappy thing they’re thinking of doing yet, so they’re asking for PERMISSION, or they’ve already done the deed, and they’re asking for FORGIVENESS.
It’s a universal truth that asking for pardon is way easier than asking for consent, so if you find yourself obliged to ask a “don’t you?” question, you should do it as a petition for approval, not an apology, otherwise you’re just a coward. Nevertheless, if you’re on the receiving end of this question, my advice is to THINK about what your answer will be, because otherwise you might end up making a choice you’ll regret, even if it’s just saying “I do” or “I don’t”. Still, however annoying the request is, if it’s objectively fair you should get over yourself and let it be, so watch out not to, in fact, be acting selfishly.
