10 Easiest Illnesses to Fake to a Doctor

Published on January 5, 2018 at 3:31 pm by Bojana Petković in Lists, News

If you wanna know how to convince a doctor you are sick when you’re actually fit as a fiddle, here’s a list of 10 easiest illnesses to fake to a doctor!

From time to time, we all need a day or two off. Otherwise, life would just be too boring, wouldn’t it? We’d be doing our daily routines and waiting for the right time for our vacation. But that doesn’t sound like much fun. Telling a little lie to a doctor and escaping work for a few days is exciting and adventurous. Actually, it’s very good for your self-confidence to feel you can break the system once in a while. Your boss should be thanking you because you’re bound to get back to work with renewed energy and in high spirits. Also, you’ll probably be more creative (makes perfect sense, doesn’t it)

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If you’re a student reading this, you’re here because you could really use a free day or two, too. At least for not getting an F in algebra. For all this happy scenario you just need one teeny tiny sheet of paper – a doctor’s note. If you wish to fake a doctor’s note for work, there are two ways to go around this. First, you can order one online, for instance at Templates, download and complete it. With a bit of luck, you’ll be on your way home soon enough. The second way makes you wonder what symptoms to tell a doctor to get a sick certificate. You’ll have the original stamp and signature, but you’ll have to lie the doctor to his/her face. If you feel uneasy about it, don’t worry. Doctors are actually quite used to it, and you don’t even have to be a good liar (at least, not in the cases we have in mind).

In order to trace the best illness to fake for school or work, we checked with New Health Advisor, Digital Spy, Qoctor, Best Fake Doctors Notes, and Daily Mail. You’ll see soon enough how to fake sick to stay home from school, and you won’t have to study how to make fake puke. We looked for the easiest ways to fake an illness, and we also searched the suggestions further at Best Fake Doctors Notes and Daily Strength to see if the symptoms are really easy to imitate. Most of them require just a bit of acting, while others may involve a bit more preparation, e.g., pretending to have a runny nose. If you wish to know how to fake illness to get admitted to hospital, we can only advise you that you complain of chest pain. Of course, you should always first go to the emergency room and bring all your personal documents with you to make the process easier. Nevertheless, after running some tests, you might end up with a huge bill (depending on your insurance).

If you’re really into doing whatever it takes to get some free time or avoid certain events at school or work, you might be interested in reading about easiest ways to break your finger, hand or wrist with little pain. Without a doubt, those will get you the doctor’s note in no time.

However, if you are too keen on your own health and wellness, take a look at our 10 easiest illnesses to fake to a doctor! With a bit of acting and a bit of cream, you can pull off whichever illness you prefer! They’re given in no particular order. Most importantly, they all work flawlessly (we ruled out period pain since it doesn’t work for both sexes).

10. Back pain

How is one to tell that your back doesn’t ache if you put on that strenuous expression? There’s no way to see through this one. Hardly is a doctor to send you to x-ray your spine if you complain about your constant seating at the desk. If you’re 50 something, we guarantee it works like a charm!

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9. Stress

Up next on our list of easiest illnesses to fake to a doctor we have stress, which is one of the two main reasons why employees in the UK asked for sick leave. And got it! It should be no problem to talk to the doctor about all the stress you’ve been experiencing at work lately. If you feel the situation isn’t that bad, try picturing your coworker nag (every office has one) for inspiration, and just go for it.

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8. Viral fever

The doctor won’t simply take your word for this one on our list of easiest illnesses to fake to a doctor. You’ll have to put in a bit more effort into it. Try running around the block before you enter the office so you’ll be hot and sweaty when you walk in. Being brick red will certainly help, and make sure you mention high-temperature last night. Shivering goes without saying – you must complain how you’re constantly feeling cold. Even if the doctor raises his/her eyebrows to the thermometer, just keep on acting until you win that certificate. After all, how can one tell you to your face that you should go to work/school if you’re shaking and looking depressed?

7. Allergy

While some people are faking it to get restaurant meals with lower calories (butter allergy is their thing), you need it for something much more serious. If you’re (un)fortunate enough not to have any allergies to nuts or anything whatsoever, don’t worry. You can always fake the rash and make an effort to breathe heavily. Apparently, a bit of Nair (hair removal cream) should do the trick. Just leave it a bit too long. Another option is duct tape. Basically, just choose an area and appear annoyed.

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6. Anxiety

We are continuing our list of easiest illnesses to fake to a doctor with anxiety, which was the second reason why the Brits asked for a day off. This is a bit harder to fake, but not impossible. After all, you don’t need any special equipment for this. Just make sure you appear very nervous and apprehensive. By the way, there are several major types of anxiety: social anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). Perhaps this last one would be the best to fake since it’s characterized by chronic anxiety, exaggerated worry, and tension. Try to explain to the doctor that you keep worrying about the most unimportant little things.

5. Eye infection (pink eye)

If your job requires working with people, this is perfect! Just think about it. Your boss surely doesn’t want the customers to be shying away from you, or that your eyes are drawing too much attention. It would be best if you started complaining a day earlier about your poor eye vision, or how your eyes hurt. The following morning, rub the area around your eyes while you’re waiting in front of the office. Better yet, use a menthol stick or glycerin. Fear not, these are regularly used by actors all over the world, and you needn’t put it in your eyes! Simply rub the menthol underneath your eyes and wait for them to turn red. And let the show begin!

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4. Depression

Another one from our list of 10 easiest illnesses to fake to a doctor which only requires good acting. Depression is hard to trace, but if you learn your text right, it will be no problem to you. The symptoms of depression are the following: fatigue, insomnia, restlessness, overeating or appetite loss (whichever works for you), suicidal thoughts or attempts. Hmmm, make sure you don’t go overboard with this, or you might end up in the hospital longer than you hoped.

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3. Diarrhea/Gastroenteritis

Some of the most googled questions are how to fake a stomach bug to a doctor or how to fake diarrhea, the number three on our list of easiest illnesses to fake to a doctor. It couldn’t be more simple, really. Just complain about the usual symptoms: diarrhea, vomiting, and abdominal pain. Don’t forget to mention lack of energy, and dehydration (in which case you could skip drinking water after your good night’s sleep). Try looking drained and lifeless. No doctor is going to ask for a stool sample, especially if you mention eating some sushi last night. As you can see, to get a sick note for diarrhea you just need a bit of acting skills.

2. Cold

How do you fake the flu? Easily! Try coughing, complain of fatigue, and irritate your nose a little bit with spice to make it runny. Alternatively, breathe through your mouth as if your nose was blocked. For watery eyes, apply petroleum jelly around them. Or use the tip for the pink eye.

1. Headache/Migraine

And the last one in our list of 10 easiest illnesses to fake to a doctor is the good old headache. How to fake a migraine? It’s a piece of cake. First, look utterly miserable. Rub your forehead while complaining. If you can apply makeup, even better. You should try to look as pale as possible. Also, people suffering from a migraine are sensitive to light, so it helps that you squint a little, or close your eyes as if you were in an effort to ignore a piercing headache. Sadly, those who suffer from a migraine more than often fake that everything is OK.