Don’t do the crime if you don’t even want to end up in one of the 10 easiest federal prisons to do time.
I watch Orange is the New Black and I know I could never survive in jail. First of all, I’m terrified of bunk beds. Once you’ve rolled out of one once, you’re done, it’s over. I wouldn’t even want to be on the bottom bunk. Your girl has back problems and needs memory foam to survive. I need snacks every two hours or I’ll get a migraine. I know constant sour gummy worms or Cheez-Its don’t happen in prison. I’m also a small, beautiful person who isn’t tough enough to handle being yelled at all the time. If a guard yelled at me I would crumple up into a ball and cry. I’d probably end up in solitary confinement. I don’t think I’d even ever be able to commit a crime in the first place. At least not on purpose. One of my biggest fears is committing a crime without knowing it and then getting in trouble. I’d cry in court. Lawyers are scary and so are judges. I love watching Law & Order, but I don’t think I’d want my life to be executive produced by Dick Wolf. Federal prison sounds horrifying because it means you did something so bad that normal prison won’t suffice. You’re occupying the same space as murderers and rapists and some criminals even have neck tattoos, which means they’re way cooler than I could ever be. They could break my limbs just by looking at me.
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To compile this list, the main data used is from the Federal Bureau of Prisons. The list was generated using categories like minimum-security and low-security. Minimum-security prisons (seven results) were added to the list automatically, and the rest of the low-security prisons we sorted according to CNBC’s research on the same topic. In the end, for every prison on the list we found information about allowed visits per week and the number of inmates based on the prison handbooks. The more family visits allowed, the better the prison is, typically. If you want to find out about some prisons with way too many people in them, take a look at our list of the 11 Countries with the Highest Prison Population in the World.
Keep reading to learn more about the 10 easiest federal prisons to do time:
10. Dublin FCI
Dublin FCI is located in North Carolina. It has only 1,733 inmates and family visits are allowed twice a week. It opened in 1974 and in 2012 it became on of three federal prisons for women. There are a lot of productive inmate programs here, including textiles and call centers. The prison also provides GED classes and computer courses.
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9. Montgomery FPC
Located in Montgomery, Alabama, this prison has 842 inmates and allows family visits three times a week. It has facilities like a pool, parks, and music rooms. Inmates can also take classes in subjects such as art, music, foreign language, and more.
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8. Pensacola FPC
Pensacola FPC is located in northern Florida and has 661 inmates. Family visits are allowed twice a week. The prison is pretty sport-oriented and has a lot of activities. Since it’s also a military base, inmates can interact with military personnel.
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7. Morgantown FCI
Located in Morgantown, West Virginia, this FCI has 842 inmates and allows family visits three times a week. The prison offers inmates a program to help develop a sense of “hope” in them. There’s also a Career Resource Center, which trains inmates to write cover letters, search job opportunities, and live life more independently. Inmates can take a GED or computer course and the prison has programs for faith and religion, library, audio, and video rooms.
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6. Bryan FPC
Bryan FPC is located in South Texas. It has 831 inmates and family visits are allowed three times per week. There’s a large green space around it with playgrounds where inmates can congregate. GED classes are also offered here.
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5. Duluth FPC
Coming in fifth on the list of the 10 easiest federal prisons to do time is Duluth FPC in Duluth, Minnesota. There are 503 inmates and three times a week families can come visit. In their free time, inmates can attend GED classes and those who graduate get a $25 reward and a certificate. There are also sports activities such as gymnastics, basketball, volleyball, racquetball, indoor soccer, and handball. Additionally, it offers music rooms where inmates can play piano, drums, wind instruments, or listen to music and there’s a theater room for watching movies.
4. Yankton FPC
This prison has 475 inmates and is located in South Dakota. It’s surrounded by green space and generally looks like a faculty-type building. Family visits are allowed three times per week. Educated opportunities available are literacy training, post-secondary education, horticulture, and apprenticeship programs. Also, every prisoner can apply for a job and get a job in different areas of the prison like food service, business office, community service, etc.
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3. Sandstone FCI
Located in Sandstone, Minnesota, this is a low-security prison with 1,196 inmates and family visits four times a week. The prison provides religion services. Inmates have to attend second-English programs, which are required by law. There is also entertainment available in wellness and recreation rooms.
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2. Alderson FPC
This minimum security prison with 983 inmates is located in Alderson, West Virginia. Family visits are allowed four times a week. The prison has a lot of green space around it and does not have barbed wire. It looks more like a college campus, and at one point a prisoner called it “Yale.” There are a lot of facilities for inmates such as sports activities and entertainment.
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1. Butner Low FCI
Located in Butner, North Carolina, this prison has 1,271 total inmates and allows family visits five times per week. Inside there are many activities, like GED programs, ESL, parenting programs, MS Office courses, and leisure activities.
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That concludes our list of the 10 easiest federal prisons to do time. It’s probably best if you don’t break the law, though.
